Test drive

[bravidiocy]

"You said I have nothing. You are wrong. I have love, I have hope, and I have faith. These things are not weaknesses. They make me what I am."

"And what's that?"

"An exorcist."

Comments

[bravidiocy]

"There was still work to be done here, people who need me." He says, a smile softening the weary edge from his features. "Even if Rome doesn't seem to think so." There was a stack of letters on his desk that said as much. He was running out of time where he could claim his collar in good faith. When that happened he would still do everything in his power to help the people around him but he would do it as a man and not a priest. Seeing Raleigh standing there, alive and with a light in his eyes is a relief after seeing him looking so broken in the wake of everything with Yancy.

Living is often the hardest choice to make.

"It is good to see you again." And it is, truly. In Anchorage Raleigh had been wounded in the worst possible way. Everything he said had been soaked in grief and anger and if lashing out had helped then it was well worth it. "Would you like a cup of coffee? It isn't very good, but it has caffeine."

[wentnuclear]

...well that stings a little. Raleigh knows full well Tomas didn't mean it like that, didn't phrase it that way to reflect badly on him for leaving, but it does poke the wound. In the end, he'd chosen to prioritize his own pain over that of the entire world's. Maybe he's being too hard on himself. Even coming back now, he's worried about drifting again for reasons besides selfish ones, besides not wanting to let someone else in his head. He might just be too broken to manage it. You need to be steady going in. If he's too lost in his own pain, his new partner will be too. And yes, that's on him for not dealing, not healing, but.

He sighs, shaking himself out of those thoughts. But they are another reminder that he hadn't actually been left to his own devices. People had tried, they just didn't know how. There was no therapy guide for people who felt their drift partner die in their head and had to live with it after. It just simply didn't happen. But they'd tried. Tomas had tried. Raleigh braces himself a little, manning up.

"Same. And no, thank you... never touch the stuff anymore." He shifts his weight, hooking his thumbs into his belt just to have somewhere to put his hands. "I just wanted to apologize. For Anchorage. It's honestly kind of a blur but I know I was a real jerk back then when you just wanted to help. I'm sorry."

[bravidiocy]

Raleigh's apology is unexpected in the best way, surprise flashing across his face for just a moment. It took bravery to say that and the ability to set aside pride in order to get out something that must have been profoundly uncomfortable to own up to. Brave and... completely unnecessary in Tomas's eyes.

He shakes his head. "You don't need to apologize. You... you were in a very painful place, one that I cannot ever imagine being in." Tomas knows deep down that if something happened to his sister, to his nephew he would not be rational. To lose a brother while his mind was so deeply connected was a horror he wished on no one. "I'm just happy to see you back." He hadn't dared to check up on Raleigh over the years out of selfish fear that he might find something he couldn't bear.